Poet Lorna’s bard work on Domino’s effect

A moments bite then gone forever - Lorna enjoys some pizza as she works.
A moments bite then gone forever - Lorna enjoys some pizza as she works.
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A Scottish poet has rewritten the famous words of Robert Burns and his appreciation of the Haggis by publishing an Address to a Domino’s to celebrate 20 years of the pizza company in Scotland.

Kilmarnock poet Lorna Wallace – famous for previous reinterpretations of Burns’ work including ‘Tae a Selfie’ – has published the poem ahead of Burns Night this Wednesday, January 25. The recreation of the Address to a Haggis, the first item on the programme of the Burns Supper, opens with the poet’s appreciation for Domino’s pizza;

Fair fa’ yir cheesy, meaty face,

Authentic thin an’ crispy base,

Yir spicy pepperoni

Leaves ma mooth in awe;

Fur Domino’s a make ma case:

Thir pizza’s braw.

Whilst traditionally a day to celebrate haggis, Domino’s predicts there will be 13 pizzas ordered a minute on Burns Night. Scottish favourites Pepperoni Passion and Vegi Supreme are predicted to be the most popular choices, both of which have been reserved a special mention within Lorna’s 20th anniversary celebration ode:

“As much as I adore ma meat,

Thir Veg Supreme goes doon a treat;

Delicious an’ delivered fresh,

Withoot delay.

Its tasty gidness helps me get

Ma 5-a-day.”

Poet Lorna Wallace commented: “The ‘Address to a Haggis’ is a great Scottish tradition, and coming from a family of proud Scots it’s something I’ve have recited before the Burns Supper for as long as I can remember. It is a huge honour to recreate the famous work of Robert Burns to celebrate this special Domino’s 20th anniversary in Scotland and it is definitely one of the more unusual ways I’ve re-ignited his words.”

Domino’s has 63 stores across Scotland and plans to open ten new stores and take on 350 new people in 2017.

Graeme and Lisa Tobias, husband and wife team, who run nine Domino’s stores in Scotland, commented: “It’s hard to believe that Domino’s is celebrating 20 years in Scotland. From taking on our first store in Kilmarnock, to operating nine stores now and looking to expand our store count further, we’re clearly a country that’s fanatical about our Pepperoni Passion! Personally we’ve been part of Domino’s for over 17 years, and worked our way up from in-store team members to growing our Domino’s family, and owning our own franchises, now for over 12 years. What a great way to combine our Scottish tradition with such a major milestone – it certainly marks the perfect start to the next 20 years.”

ADDRESS TO A DOMINO’S (IN FULL)

Fair fa’ yir cheesy, meaty face,

Authentic thin an’ crispy base,

Yir spicy pepperoni

Leaves ma mooth in awe;

Fur Domino’s a make ma case:

Thir pizza’s braw.

Ma belly’s growlin’ like a beast

Until a get ma Chicken Feast;

A rush ti make ma order

Fae the choice oanline.

Ten meenits more, it’s at ma door:

The pizza’s mine.

Fur when a hear that wee bell ring,

A jist wahnt ti dance an’ sing,

A cannae wait ti git ma scran,

Sit doon an’ eat it;

Pipin’ hoat an’ freshly made,

Yi cannae beat it.

As much as I adore ma meat,

Thir Veg Supreme goes doon a treat;

Delicious an’ delivered fresh,

Withoot delay.

Its tasty gidness helps me get

Ma 5-a-day.

Wi 60 Scottish stores alone

Oor Domino’s has grown an’ grown,

Oanline, in store or oan the phone,

Thir heavy gid;

Amazin’ service, tons of fun

An’ smashin’ fid.

They’ve also launched a smert invention,

The ultimate in stain prevention,

The wipe-clean pizza onesie

Is the height of fashion;

Wi pockets fur yir dips an’ drinks,

It’s bloomin’ smashin’.

Och Domino’s, yir jist unreal,

Ah’d eat yir fid fur every meal;

Yir endless choice of pizzas fills

Ma hert wi glee,

An’ every Tuesday a can even

Get wan free.

An’ so, ti sum up aw ma praise

Fur Domino’s an’ aw the ways

They’ve led a revolutionary

Pizza craze:

Ah’ll love thir smashin’, belter pizzas

Aw ma days.